I suck at driving.

I suck at driving - period.

You know, sucking at it isn't even the worst part. The worst part is I am actually very scared of it, and I lack the confidence and ability to tell myself that "when there is a will, there is a way (to become a good driver)."

Below are the reasons I believe have contributed to this big embarrassment:

1. I grew up in Taiwan where driving and parking are at least 20 times more difficult than in California, or 5 times more difficult than in Manhattan.

2. When I was 18, my parents hired a very bad driving teacher for me, who was rude and kept grabbing my hands. Traumatized!

3. I failed my driving road test, twice, and finally passed it the 3rd time. Self-confidence: totally destroyed.

4. I never drove until 10 years after I got my driver's license when I moved to San Francisco for my job which required commuting.

5. Five months into it, I got my first driving ticket for almost hitting a police car, on highway 101.

6. About 8 months later, I got another ticket for speeding on highway 280 on my way to a work meeting, while listening to bloomberg radio about how the stock market was tanking that day.

Here I am admitting this to the whole world -- I cannot parallel park; I lose all sense of direction when I drive; and I cannot talk to anybody when I drive.

To all my friends and family --

(1) If I drive to visit you, please know that you must be very important to me.

(2) If you need me to give you a ride, you will have to be the driver so that we can chat during the ride and be safe.

That's all. Not a big deal! When there is a will (to NOT be a good driver), there is a way!

* Saw the video from Phil's blog: little asian girl's badass parallel parking and felt very encouraged for 1 minute and then deeply hurt, therefore wrote this blog entry.

* Big thank you to the "kind but angry asian man" for promoting the book vote video on his very popular blog here and on another follow up post here